God's Muse (NaNoWriMo)

God's Muse is the current code name for my NaNoWriMo project (Thursday is the 1st already!). 

For those who don't know, NaNoWriMo is "National Novel Writing Month" and it's sort of an online support group of writers and wannabes with the common goal of reaching a 50,000 word goal in the month of November.  I think my sister introduced me to it several years ago, but it was a bit overwhelming.  Now I'm ready to take it on.  I've got a good idea what I'm going to write.  It's far from a complete outline, though I do know how it will end and h several scenes mapped out. 

A race of beings who worship creativity as a god have come to Earth and started a record label with a plan to harvest creativity (a force no longer present in their race) - from human blood.  It's up to Jazz Lee to figure out why the members of his band have started to disappear and how to stop the extinction of his race as the rest of these beings are just days away from Earth.

If it sounds familiar, I was working on it for Camp NaNoWriMo in August.  A tragedy involving a violent death hit my wife's family at this time, and the scene I was working on at the time involved a scene dealing with a similar incident.  I just couldn't pretend about it when the real thing was there staring me in the face.  Actually, it was kind of a driving force behind my creating this blog for reasons I won't go into here.  At any rate, I didn't want to trash the idea, but I really didn't like that scene - and not just because of the subject, it just didn't work, the characters weren't real and it seemed forced.  So I scratched it, started over with a fresh brainstorm and while a few characters have survied it's a whole new idea, with a new plot and approach.

Thank you for your eyeballs!
DJ

A Gloating Panda

Good morning,

Due to a convergence of many projects over this week, Spatchcock will be postponed at least one week.  This next episode is important - it's episode VI, which is of course the first REAL episode.  I want to make sure to take time for new artwork - and I'd rather put out quality than quantity.  As such, I put together a single frame cartoon for today.  I am not a Giants fan, but tend to drift over toward their dugout once the A's wrap up their season the past few years.  So this one is for them, but even more so for my brother-in-law, mother, friends and many others who are very happy today.

P.S.  I am very happy with the success of the first episode of Faceballs.  The traffic helped push Stipewriter over 1100 page views since I started a little less than two months ago.  Granting that at least a couple hundred of those are myself checking formatting and such, I'm pleasantly surprised.  Thank you for your support.

Faceballs - Episode 1

It was suggested I do a comic about Facebook, and where else to start but with Takei?  Without further ado, here are Trent (Trenton) and O (Omous), also known as Faceballs:

Thank you for your eyeballs.

- DJ

A Social Semicolon

I am a social semicolon
I stand between
Two ideas

Stand; sit
Speak; quiet
Listen; hear
Stay; run
Laugh; scream

I am a social semicolon.

Period.


Thanks for your eyeballs.

- DJ

Pop Goes the Excitement of it All

The other day there was a show called Hey Kids, Let's Cook! on PBS.  A cute little cooking show for kids.  My own kids and I had just cooked Mom a Red Velvet cake and pot of coffee for Mother's day and were in the cooking mood.  We decided to watch and see if we could learn any tips.

They were making peanut butter apple puffs using canned biscuit dough.  When the little girl on the show opened the biscuit dough, the "Mom" on the show had her whack it on the counter to force it open.  My kids of course saw nothing wrong with that, but I couldn't help but grieve out loud for them and the experiences they might never get.

It was a tragic moment, as I was thinking about Moms and canned biscuit dough.  I was stricken with grief at the loss of proper biscuit packaging.  For children now, there is no jack-in-the-box moment in this.  As I recall, the dough would decide to spring forth with life about 3/4 of the way pulling the little wrapper around the outside.  We knew it was coming, we were just a little bit scared of it, but we had to find out when it would happen!  Now we are left to fumble clumsily with poorly constructed packaging - just separating the end of the little wrapper piece from the can is an exercise in patience - only to get thing unwrapped to receive further instructions that you might need to wedge a butter knife into the seam to open.

Some people are okay with this, but on this day - so connected to my kids and so nostalgic, I could only see the tragedy.

It's a wedge-a-butter-knife-into-the-seem kind of life now, and I can accept it.  But I sure don't have to like it.

Thank you for your eyeballs!

- DJ

Request For Beta Readers

Hello there, Last night I completed work on the first draft of a story I'm working on for publication. It's in rough draft, and I plan to complete revision on it by tomorrow night. Since I'm working on a tight deadline, I was wondering if anybody would have time later this week to read and respond to some specific questions in regard to the story structure. My hope is to deliver to Beta readers no later than Thursday morning and try to get it back by no later than the end of the weekend, so if this won't work for your schedule, no worries.

The story is 6500 words which will work out to 10 or 11 pages single spaced, 20 or so in manuscript form. It's a chore I'm asking for, so for at least the first 3 people to offer I will provide a final copy of the publication, which is an anthology so will include several stories and other works.

There is definitely a content warning, mostly sexual in nature but some language. It's there for a reason, the story is about sex and marketing, but there is a scene that is fairly graphic, so use your own judgment whether you want to be involved. I would appreciate the help but certainly don't want to accidentally offend anyone (I prefer to know when I'm doing that). You can respond here or email me at djstipe@comcast.net with the words "Beta Reader" somewhere in the subject line.

Thank you for your eyeballs!
DJ

P.S. Lots of activity here with some projects ending this month and NANOWRIMO coming up next month - I only have 8 days to write my outline! The result may be some process related commentary in the middle of the week, but I will try to bookend it with some good stuff. Monday's are already committed to Spatchcock, well Friday's are soon to be for something else, tentatively called Faceballs. Stay tuned!

Spatchcock Episode 3 - "Oh, the Sanctity!"

Good morning,

For scheduling reasons, Spatchcock is moving to Monday mornings at 11.  This gives me through Sunday night to complete it and get it scheduled for delivery Monday morning. 

Thank you,
DJ

Spatchcock Episode 3 - "Oh, the Sanctity!"

Down the Spatula Hole

So, not much down the Spatula hole, I think the comic kind of speaks for itself.  The absurdity of the idea of the "sanctity" of an institution that's culturally adolescent comes through when you remove the word "marriage".  I'm sure it's not a popular view to have, but I personally think the state of the family began to erode when women stopped being the primary home-makers.  I don't think we should or could go back there, but I think that two income families are a much bigger threat to the sanctity of the family than the idea of same sex couples.  Social change comes at a cost, and it's not always immediately notable.  On a plus note, it's now okay for Father's to have emotions, which is something sons have been blind to for generations.  These kinds of changes are why we have to adapt our social institutions to the world we actually live in, not toward a past we wish we could hold on to.

On another note, I'm trying to find the best time to post based on reading patterns,  This is the reason for my move to Monday before lunch, we'll see how that works out.  Also, trying to figure out how not to be one of the annoying ones, though I do have to admit to one or two of these myself.

PeeChee - Do You Remember?

Thank you for your eyeballs.
- DJ

Remembering Mad Libs

So many miles were shrunk by the missing words in the pages of Mad Libs.  Lots of summers with my family spent driving across this wonderful country, sharing the craziest, nonsensical tales.  The co-creator passed this week, and it made me remember some pretty good times, so here's for Larry Sloan:

Thank you for your eyeballs.

- DJ

All Our Binders Are Belong to Us

It is a truly sad state of affairs when the national discourse is dominated by the comedic echoes of an errant trapper keeper.

Besides, my women come in Pee Chee Folders.

Thank you for your eyeballs.
 - DJ



Confused?  Try this.  Still confused, try this.  Still confused, take two looks in this and call me in the morning. 

Actually, don't call.  Text.

"Practiced" Pixilated

Always trying to find new ways to combine artistic interests, the following image juxtaposes a poem already published here with a graphic I created of my Ovation some years back. Given the subject matter, I think it's a neat intersection of three of my favorite disciplines.

Thank you for your eyeballs.
- DJ

I'm Considering Revising my Stance on Hot Beverages

After years of being firmly against the sale and use of hot beverages for any purpose other than to thaw frozen bones on winter mornings, I believe my stance is beginning to soften (thaw?). Monday morning coffee, while not necessarily condoned or appreciated myself, may no longer fall in my "against" column. This is still under consideration, though it seemed important to be up front about this. My stance on broths and soups, however, is unchanged. That is all.


Thank you for your eyeballs.
- DJ

Spatchcock Episode 2 - "Ye Are the Salt of the Earth"

The weekend is here, so it must be time for another episode of Spatchcock, the hottest new comic strip on this blog.  Live and in a brand new format today.  Well, not live...live comic strips haven't been invented yet.  Feel free to take the idea and run with it if you want.  Otherwise, here's...

Spatchcock
By DJ Stipe

Down the Spatula Hole

Salt has been around as a seasoning since long before biblical times. Have you wondered why we season our food?

Speaking of spices, one spice that kind of freaks me out is allspice.  Its name is misleading of course, because it's really one spice that comes from a dried berry.  That's not what I always thought.  When asked to hand my Mom the allspice, I can remember envisioning a factory in some hot place where children worked to empty tiny spice containers labeled with "cinnamon", "nutmeg" and the names of other spices into large vats they then mixed with giant wooden spoons so that other children - the ones with extra long arms - could scoop the mixture back into containers labeled "allspice".  Maybe it's this image or just the fact that it's trying to be too much, but I find it to be one of the more nefarious spices.  As such, I find it implorable that the Chinese restaurant up the street uses it in their egg rolls...and to excess.  I've thought about mentioning it to them, but I don't know - if that's their thing, who am I to intrude?  Just don't eat their egg rolls.  Or anything fried, because the flavor is intrusive beyond comprehension.  No, maybe one day I'll have a T-Shirt made with one of those crossed out circles encompassing the word "allspice", then go to the restaurant and hope they pick up on the hint.  That's more my style.

Until next week....thank you for your eyeballs.

- DJ

Tiny Hero (For Joseph)

In honor of my son Joseph I'm posting lyrics to the song I wrote for him when he was just learning to walk.


Something he picked up much easier than walking? Reading.


He's in 5th grade and reading at a late 9th grade level and blowing away all his school's goals. His principal called yesterday to tell us personally. Yep, he's my hero more and more each day.


Joseph deserves a much better recording that the one linked here (it's pretty bad), and since it's a lot of people's favorite I'll get a better version out there some day, but for now...


Tiny Hero
By DJ Stipe
I lay you down to sleep
Let me take your cape, your hat
Before you start counting sheep
I know your mother's smile
Looks right at home there on your face
But now it's time for dreams of Dora
Spiderman and Thomas the Train


(Chorus)
You look up to me
Like nobody ever has
And of me it seems
You think the world
But it's my life that's blessed
By watching you live yours
You're my tiny hero


Look, up in your room
It's a bird
No, it's a plane
No, that's my son
Faster than a speeding bullet
He learned to walk
Then took off at a run
Able to leap off tall curbs
Now all by yourself
You used to hold my hand
It's bitter sweet kryptonite
Watching time grow you up, my little man


(Chorus)
You look up to me
Like nobody ever has
And of me it seems
You think the world
But it's my life that's blessed
By watching you live yours
You're my tiny hero




Thanks for your eyeballs.
- DJ

I Want a T-Shirt That Says "Awkward Conversationalist"

I want a hat that just says "Hi"


Thanks for your eyeballs.

- DJ

Happy to Oblige?




Thanks for your eyeballs.
- DJ

Power to the Peaceful

This poem was written after attending a Power to the Peaceful festival that was anything but peaceful a couple of years back.  Enjoy!

http://www.evernote.com/shard/s3/sh/ee4eb27d-5023-492c-9424-5db33ba6fd3d/e548977d9e32efee69cf42b8c0d47869

Thanks for your eyeballs!
- DJ

Magnum Afloat

Do you remember the episode of Magnum PI where Magnum is deserted in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and the whole episode is him treading water and staying afloat with nothing but some sharks, his memories and that sweet, glorious moustache?

I do.

Thanks for your eyeballs.

- DJ

Spatchcock - Episode 1 - "Waterfront"

I'm excited to introduce the innaugural episode of "Spatchcock", written and illustrated by DJ Stipe. I'm still working out the best method for publishing, but for now it will be a weekly published Saturday or Sunday mornings. This is my first attempt at such a venture, so your support is appreciated. Feel free to stick around after the comic and chase me down the Spatula Hole.

Down The Spatula Hole

The internet can be like a giant rabit hole - chasing the answer for one question can lead to a cavernous lair filled with previously unknown (and often times unwanted) gems.  Start looking for the population of fruit flies in Peru and you end up finding a must-have recipe for octopus bacon.  It's the magic of the internet (and the danger for anyone with a deadline).  Here on DJ Stipewriter, I want to save you time.  I've already been distracted enough for the both of us (or all three if someone besides my Sister is reading this).  So chase me down the Spatula Hole and see where it leads.

The lines in "On the Waterfront" that inspired this comic are so ingrained in our culture that I knew them long before I'd seen the movie.  Having seen Raging Bull first, I didn't get the full impact of that line until seeing Brando's performance much later.  Isn't it amazing how the exact same words can have such a different meaning given the delivery of the actor and the context of the screenplay?

"Spatchcock" Profile - Drab Olive Stove

 Drab Olive Stove - If you live in the Greenbloom's kitchen, this is the hottest place to be.  Centrally located between food (refrigerator) and lodging (spice rack), it really heats up around dinner time.  WARNING: Both the right rear and front left burners have been red-tagged out of commission, though due to the lack of tag stock, this is not posted.  DO NOT TURN THESE BURNERS ON.  At first they will appear to be working just fine, then they will start to crack and pop and will explode within 20 seconds to 10 minutes if left on.
Welcome to Drab Olive Stove where Spatch, Nugget, Noodle and the others hang out.

"Spatchcock" Character Profile: Noodle

Noodle - Nugget and Noodle came to Palookaville as a pair, and so far Noodle has been able to keep it that way (there was a close call back in '09 when Nugget went through what Noodle thought was an online porn addiction, but what turned out to be a fascination with random how-to videos). They became life partners after several months living together in a moving box at a storage facility near Kenosha, WI. Noodle claims to be taller than Nugget, who insists this is just because of Noodle's shoes. Noodle doesn't have the heart to tell him they don't wear shoes, and since neither can see their feet, the argument is a stalemate.

Thanks for your eyeballs.
- DJ

"Spatchcock" Character Profile: Nugget

Nugget is first and foremost not now - nor has he ever been nor does he intend to be - a chicken. He landed in Palookaville as a Christmas gift from Mr. Greenbloom's first Mother-in-law (Mrs. Greenbloom number 3 is so far in the dark about this). He is Spatch's newest and eternalest bestest friend and is almost exclusively found hanging out at Drab Olive Stove, though making occasional forays into the spice rack (much to the chagrin of his beloved but very hot-headed life partner Noodle). He's often disheartened to have friends he's known for years notice for the first time he has legs but no arms.




Thank you for your eyeballs.
- DJ

"Spatchcock" Character Profile: Spatch

Spatch - Born in Asia and coming to the states by way of Spatula City ("Where folks go for all their spatula needs"), he is property of the Greenblooms of Palookaville, IL. Having come into the newly wedded couple's home as previously owned property of Mrs. Greenbloom (maiden name: Rodriguez, previous married name: Smith, previous stripper name: Chalupa), the rest of the kitchen utensils see him as worldly and sophisticated. Constructed of a single piece of molded extra durable phenolic plastic with a smile that could charm the knobs off the stove, he is...the most interesting spatula in the world.




Thank you for your eyeballs.
- DJ

The Big News

Beginning this weekend, I will be publishing a serial comic strip right here under the title, "Spatchcock". It will be set in the kitchen of the unseen Greenblooms and follow the life of some extraordinary kitchen utensils as they offer commentary on the human condition as only kitchen utensils can.

My goal to start is at least one 4-6 frame strip per weekend, though I may supplement with smaller issues during the week if time permits. I will be participating in NANOWRIMO (NAtional NOvel WRIting MOnth) in November, so the weekly goal might even get hairy, but I wanted to give myself a reasonable commitment.

Wish me luck! Oh, and stay tuned for some character introductions over the coming week.

Thank you for your eyeballs.
- DJ

Big Freakin' News Tomorrow

There will be big news in Stipewriter land tomorrow. In the meantime here is a not completely unrelated video.

Thanks for your eyeballs.

- DJ

Unwittingly Frosted

I found frosting on my stomache today, between my naval and the hairy patch just below what my wife unlovingly refers to as my bro-boobs.

This unnerved me because I haven't eaten anything frosted in quite some time.

I should say that I'm not a big man. Well, not gigantic. But I do have folds and lumps in places where, not all that long ago, I used to have smaller folds and lumps.

To clarify, the frosting was not in one of the folds, but near the crest of one of the lumps.

How do I know it was frosting? Well, if it looks like a duck, and smells like a duck, I'm going to taste it to see if it's frosting.

It was. Thank god.

Thanks for your eyeballs.
- DJ